Never give up on anyone
By Nicholas
Jun 10
My buddy disappears if I look away for more than ten seconds. He doesn’t participate in group activities. He shuns social interactions, especially when girls are around. He eats alone. He shouts vulgarities and gets violent sometimes. He treats me as his best friend for one moment and his servant the next. He is demanding and can be very, very difficult.
His name is Ben and still, I missed him sorely after the camp.
It was my first Y Camp experience and everything I thought the camp would be was blown away when I met my buddy. From the start, he refused to join in the icebreakers and other assorted games. I discovered that he likes dancing so I thought myself clever when I got him to join in one activity with his favourite song, Nobody by Wonder Girls, blaring at the background. Yet, when the music faded, so did his enthusiasm. Once again, he would lapse into his moody, anti-social state. It was to be his pattern of interaction for the rest of the camp.
I tried my best to get to know him. He prefers eating alone and out in the sun, so I did the same. He likes to walk around aimlessly while ignoring the camp’s activities. I did the same. Wherever he went, I followed. I became his shadow and, in time, his friend.
I would be the first to admit that it was not the easiest thing I have done. By the end of the first day, I was feeling discouraged, defeated and distraught over my camp experience. At one point, I even considered backing out of the camp. Hindsight showed me that I did the right thing by staying and persevering, because things did become better, for a while.
I eventually found a method of connecting to him. In fact, it worked so well that I even got him to talk to girls and participate in some activities! To me, it felt like I had just won the lottery. The method I used was, in short, play-acting. I knew that he likes martial arts and that he would call himself Jackie Chan. So, it was with much amusement and a little exasperation that I named myself Jet Li to see if it would make things any different.
Imagine my surprise when I found out that Ben related to 'Jet Li' so well. 'Nick' could not get Ben to eat with the group, but 'Jet Li' did it effortlessly. Barely believing my luck, I continued this pseudo-charades and gave names to other people to help 'Jackie Chan' relate to them. Fantastical characters like Powerpuff Girls and Chun Li came alive and, for the first time, Ben could talk to girls without bursting into tears. It was amazing to watch. It was magical.
I came away from the camp with many new perspectives, but the one thing that I will never forget is this:
Never give up on anyone. It may take a long, long time, but eventually he or she will let you into their lives, and you will find that everything you have done till then has been worth it.
